


Did It Hurt?

by missmichellebelle



Category: Glee
Genre: Competition, Fluff, Future Fic, Humor, M/M, Married Couple, Pickup Lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-08
Updated: 2013-02-08
Packaged: 2017-12-14 15:46:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missmichellebelle/pseuds/missmichellebelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I bet I can make you laugh before you can make me laugh,” Blaine issues, and Kurt glances at him with a quirked eyebrow. “Horrible pick-up lines only,” he clarifies. “Winner gets bragging rights.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Did It Hurt?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Klaine Prompts Project, with the prompt: Kurt and Blaine start using dumb/cheesy pick up lines for each other, trying to crack the other.

It starts when Kurt is just back from the gym, walking into the apartment with his arms stretched over his head to the smell of coffee and the sight of Blaine eating a bagel while sitting on the counter. Blaine swallows his bite and smiles, holding out a mug of coffee that Kurt goes to with reaching hands as if it’s a magnet pulling him in.

“Good morning, beautiful.” Blaine leans in, kissing Kurt’s forehead as Kurt closes his eyes and groans. “How was your workout?”

“My legs are  _killing_  me,” Kurt mutters, holding the coffee close to his face and just breathing in its smell, letting it wash over him and relax him.

And then—

“Because you’ve been running through my mind all morning.”

The kitchen falls silent as Kurt looks up, eyebrows raised and mouth pinched in surprised amusement.

“What?” He asks, voice rippling with held back laughter, and Blaine at least has the decency to look kind of sheepish.

“I… I have  _no idea_  where that came from.” In fact, Blaine looks just as surprised, dragging a hand over his aghast features and a disbelieving smile tugging onto his face. “But at least it made you laugh.”

“I didn’t laugh,” Kurt corrects, bringing the coffee to his lips and sipping it.  _God_. Blaine might not know how to make more than spaghetti, but no one can make Kurt’s coffee the way Blaine can.

“Come on, it was funny.” Blaine taps his bare toes against Kurt’s yoga-pant-clad thigh, and Kurt presses his lips together and shakes his head.

“No one laughed, it wasn’t funny,” he says, dismissively, and that’s when Blaine’s eyes narrow in a challenge.

“I bet I can make you laugh before you can make me laugh,” Blaine issues, and Kurt glances at him with a quirked eyebrow. “Horrible pick-up lines only,” he clarifies. “Winner gets bragging rights.”

Kurt quirks his lips, sips his coffee again, and then meets Blaine’s challenge with fire in his eyes.

“Alright, Mr. Anderson-Hummel. You’re on.”

“Yeah,  _turned_  on.”

Kurt bites his lip, and maybe Blaine is better at this than Kurt is giving him credit for.

*

It’s not a straight-on battle. Kurt finishes his coffee, and Blaine finishes his bagel, and they settle down on the couch together—Kurt with his sketchbook, and Blaine with a stack of books and a spiral notebook. Their feet are tangled under the throw, fighting the chill that always lingers too long in the cooler months, the only sound Kurt’s soft humming as they both work.

“Hey Kurt?” Blaine asks, casually, and Kurt looks up, glancing over at him curiously. “Did you have Lucky Charms for breakfast?”

“Wha—”

“Because you look magically delicious.”

It  _almost_  cracks Kurt, almost, but he manages to give Blaine a thoroughly unimpressed look.

“You know, Blaine,” Kurt says, very seriously, dipping his voice a little lower as he leans closer to Blaine. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”

Blaine smiles, lips pressed together, and then shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

“That was pathetic,” Blaine taunts. “It’s so pathetic, I think I might be dead.” Blaine stops, looks at Kurt. “No, I must be dead, because I’m looking at an angel.”

Kurt groans, hitting the heel of his hand against his forehead.

“That was  _awful_.” Kurt kicks the blanket away from his legs, getting up with his sketchbook and walking past Blaine to set it down on the further side table. He pauses as he walks past, and then looks back at Blaine. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

Blaine’s head thunks back on the arm of the couch.

“You know, I always thought I was missing out not getting to ever use these, but it turns out I really wasn’t.”

Kurt almost laughs. Almost.

*

After that, it isn’t about segues or trying to be casual. Mostly, it’s about trying to function during a normal Saturday while slipping in (and sometimes yelling) pick-up lines at each other.

“It’s a good thing I have my library card,” Blaine says, opening his wallet as he walks into the kitchen while Kurt makes lunch. “Because I am totally checking you out.”

Blaine comes back into the apartment with the mail, and Kurt grabs his wrist and purrs, “Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world.”

“Is your dad a baker? Because you’ve got nice buns,” Blaine calls while Kurt is vacuuming.

“Well, your dad must be a thief, because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes,” Kurt counters, shutting the vacuum off.

“Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in  _your_  eyes.”

“I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.”

“I lost my phone number, can I have yours?”

“Excuse me, I think I dropped something—my jaw.”

“I wish I was a gardener, so I could put your tulips and my tulips together.”

“Is it hot in here, or is it just you?”

“Nice legs, when do they open?”

“Is that a cucumber in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

“Is that a mirror in  _your_  pocket, because I can see myself in your pants.”

“You know what would look great on you?  _Me_.”

“That shirt looks very becoming on you.” Blaine pauses, holds Kurt’s gaze. “Then again, if I were on you, I’d be coming, too.”

A beat, and then Kurt’s shoulders start heaving as Blaine starts wheezing, and they’re both laughing. Kurt pitches forward, holding himself up by clinging to the vacuum cleaner as Blaine’s laughter breaks through full force and he doubles over, holding his middle.

“That is the  _worst_ —”

“I know!” Blaine cries, wiping at his face and shaking his head.

“Where did you even— _Blaine_.”

“I was looking them up online, I just—” Blaine wheezes, and Kurt stumbles into him, and they’re both laughing. “It was the worst one I could find.”

“That one was just  _gross_.”

“I know, I  _know_.”

“So which one of us wins then?” Kurt wipes at his eyes, looking at Blaine.

“Well it was  _my_  pick up line that—”

“You laughed first!”

“Draw?” Blaine asks, lips stretched wide in a grin, and Kurt giggles and nods.

“I can accept that.”


End file.
